This piece is not I feel particularly suited to review, nevertheless, ELZZ has expressed interest in redoing it, so I'll try my best to give him some feedback before that.
As a whole the piece is very good quality. It focuses on the eyes, which are stunningly done, and evinces a good deal of dimensionality and clarity in the rest of the piece. The weak point, perhaps, is the way it seems split in its outlook between taking inspiration from anime and trying for realism.
The shading and texture, attention to detail in the hair especially, mark the piece out as trying for a realistic look, a style that only escapes it due to techniques which are heavily influenced by anime. Notably, as follows.
1) The eyebrows above the hair is very cartoonish and counters the realistic style
2) The impact from shading is minimized by the use of hard black linework. For an illustration of this, look at the nape of Dash's neck hidden by the hair. The black linework disappears in the shadows and we get a taste of what the piece might be without it.
3) The dimensionality of the face (cut from muzzle to right cheek) and thinness of the neck are a bit extreme. Softening them into something that's merely distinct stylistically would help a realistic style.
In conclusion, this is already a very good piece. It looks to me like a very cutting sketch which then had a lot of time of effort put in to make it realistic. In the end, though, making it truly realistic would mean departing from the sketch, so this piece is at a crossroads. If ELZZ returns to it, I would recommend that he give himself the freedom to step beyond the linework and see what he can do to increase the realism that he's already taken so far.